Good Lord

Reading back through some of these posts is a little bit embarrasing. I've already deleted two that were filled with flirty relationship angst and although I am tempted to delete the others that fall into the same category, I realise that this will leave the blog pretty much empty. I dunno, what do you guys think?

All 2 of you.

So gosh! It's been an absolute while, what's been going on? Well quite a few things as it turns out, and also a whole bunch of nothing.

I am still to finish the course that I started around about the same time that this blog went up, which is super shameful (I know), but that is definately going to be out of the way by the end of this year because it's now getting in the way of my next news nugget. (Unrelated but arg! This laptop keyboard is so small and its really annoying when you go to press backspace and instead you press insert and its like fuuu-). The course has progressed resonably well this year I feel, I am now up to the point where I am writing a seemingly endless array of essays and actually doing stuff that is related to the design of games. I still have to do some concept artwork for a pitch document but its cool. I mean I will have to start up my old computer (barry) and get him to work properly, as my new computer (gwen) doesn't seem to like either my tablet or any of the software that went with it in order to make it function. And for some reason I can't find a tablet that works on Windows 7 for less than 100£. (Comment section if you can help me out on this, amazon preferred over ebay).

I dunno about the end of this though. Lots of people from this course seem to be doing well in internships but I am super not confident in my abilities at all. I think my attitude will change when I actually make a game or something game related, but finding the time to mod just isn't happening right now, and the project to make the game it'self is prolly going to be a solo deal and will totally eat my life. It'll be fun though. Hopefully people will enjoy playing it too.

Right next news nugget. I want to move to London.

I've always wanted to live in some sort of city but London seems to be calling me loudest. I have family there so I am totally aware of all the pitfalls and the fact that it is not the friendliest or most sociable of places, but you know. It's something that I really feel I want to do. I can't move till I finish this course, but yeah. As soon as I do, I am London bound.

So yeah... the rest of my afternoon is going to be spent drawing, and deciding whether or not to get rid of a few posts. Also hi if you're still reading this.

Ohheyguys!

All... five of you. So uh. There will be updates across all areas soon, chaeeeeys?

Contextualise Meh will update on weekends (kinda).

This will be back to weeklys (at least)

Teh Exorcise blog will also resume.

Cheeeeyyysss... things will be berry goot. Berry nice!

It lives!

^ This post brought to you by vanity (and flat caps)

People have always told me, that you're supposed to have certain moments of clarity in your life, where you realise something so profound that everything changes as a result, and you can never go back to the way things were.

For the most part, I agreed with them. Twice I've felt this way, the first was realising that I am not as ugly as I was made to feel in High School (which lead to its own set of problems... but it was fun). The second was the first time I fell in love. By that I mean LOVE, love. The one that's so strong and all consuming that you have that uncomfortable moment where it dawns on you that every time you've expressed it before, you were wrong. Beyond that I didn't think that there was anything left to "discover". I'm not saying that I didn't/don't have issues, but I'm British, and we already realise that we're pretty much the best*.

I think I just had my third, uhm, thing. I dunno what you're supposed to call these yet.

Today I realised, that the reason that I seem to be making no progress at all, is because I am trying to go in too many directions, when really I can only go in one, maybe two at best (if they're both sort of going the same way). It was more of a slow clap than an avalanche this time around, and its still clapping so bear with me.

I cannot become a Jack-of-all-trades because then I will not be able to achieve everything that I want.

I cannot fall back on just being a pretty bit floating about some rich man's palace doing chores and telling the gardener where I want the chrysanthemums and how nice the jasmine would look draped across the gazebo.

I am probably never going to be famous. ... More than probably. Almost certainly.

I want, to be a games designer and make computer games. I want my own studio. I want to be successful, and to bring imagination and the open end back to the games industry. This is really and truly what I want, and its been a running theme through my entire life although I never really took that much notice of it.

I was always that child who made games for everyone to play. I was always at the centre of a group of people who wanted to join the worlds I was spinning, even though I had very few true friends, I was always welcome because I could make the dull interesting. All my life so far I have been inventing games.

And that's exactly what I want to do for the rest of it. I want to make things that people will enjoy playing, I want to make things that you can settle yourself into as deeply as you want, I want to create rich game worlds that you can sink into at the end of a long day. I want to make things that relieve stress, and calm even the more ornery of domestic beasts. I don't want to do this with guns and missiles and controversy. I want to do this the way that I've always done things. By listening, and talking, and creating something warm.

Although...

That's quite a mountain, and I'm still way out there on the plains. I'm glad to have realised finally what I really want out of life, but its a long way and a lot of work left to do, and I am coming close to the line for at least the first part of it. So its still a slow clap. Right in the awkward stage where there's still just one jock and his loser friend making all the noise and everything else is silence.

I'll let you decide out of everyone I know, who is the jock and who is the loser. Right now I need to open Gimp and get a few MT pages done!

- SR

*Sarcasm.

DRAWINGS?!

Maaaaan... I am trying not to overface myself with work, but I just can't stop drawing characters related to Felicity Jone. These two beauties are Lord Erian Mox and the Regent of Rue, Cineraria Alium (Both written by two awesome women over at Rue). I really have to concentrate on getting the proportions for the bodies right, but I have faces pretty much like, down. Unless you want me to draw them from some other angle, in which case it will take me about eight hours.

Anyway. I want to try doing at least a page a week for this comic, and since I am lazy and really don't understand why my nice shiny new program isn't working, I am going to be drawing in MS Paint. Oh yes. I said it.

So stay tuned for more craptastic quality.

Trilingial Time:
- I should be doing other things.
- Que debería estar haciendo otras cosas.
- Watashi wa ta no koto o yatte iru hitsuyō ga arimasu (私は他の事をやっている必要があります)

- SR

Trilingual

Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee laaaaaaaaaaaanguages! It will happen. It will happen right here. Damn it. Okay so my spanish is rusty and my grasp of Japanese falls short of basic (though now when the subtitles aren't lined up properly I can ignore them and still understand the basic gist of what is going on, or who is talking about who) but I will start writing this more and doing it in different languages.

Or something.

Okay, trilingual party starter:
So after the breakup I had one initial crush almost immediately that fizzled out and now I have a whole lot of nothing. By the way I am totally running this through a translater. So theres this guy who is kind of cute and stuff and I -want- to like him like him but I just can't foster any feelings right now, I think I must still be going through the processes of the split or something. Aarrgh why can't he and the crush guy just call back in four years or something. Do Time Machines exist yet? I could do with one of those.

Oh and I have a job lined up for the end of the year, its all pretty exciting!

ES
Así que después de la ruptura que había un aplastamiento inicial casi inmediatamente que fracasó y ahora tengo un montón de nada. Por cierto estoy totalmente de ejecutar este a través de un traductor. Así que hay un tipo que es la clase de lindo y esas cosas y yo quiero lo que le gusta como él, pero yo simplemente no puede promover ningún sentimiento en este momento, creo que todavía debe estar pasando por los procesos de la división o algo así. ¿Por qué no puede él y el chico acaba de aplastar a devolver la llamada en cuatro años o algo así. No existe todavía máquinas del tiempo? Que podría hacer con uno de ellos.

Ah, y tengo un trabajo alineado para el final del año, su todo muy emocionante!

NH
Dakara watashi wa sugu ni sonouchi shissoku shi, ima wa nani mo ariamatte iru 1tsu no saisho no kurasshu shite ita gārufurendo to wakareta nochi. Watashi wa kanzen ni tsūyaku o kaishite kore o jikkō shite iru hōhō de. Desukara, ichi-shu no kawaii mono to watashi wa gatta kare no yōna kare o suki ni ndakedo, ima wa subete no kanjō o sodateru koto ga dekinai, watashi wa mada bunkatsu ka nani ka no purosesu o tsūka suru hitsuyō ga arimasu to omou nodesu kono otoko wadesu. Naze kare wa, tokimeki no otoko ga modotta bakari no 4-nenkan nani ka de yobidasu koto wa dekimasen. Dotaimumashin wa mada sonzai shite? Watashi wa ichi-nin to dekiru. Ā, watashi ga shigoto o kotoshi-matsu made ni, sono subete hijō ni ekisaitinguna narande iru!

Maybe it would help if I actually installed the japanese language pack on this computer.

SR's magical transformation!

So I feel like having a permenant style change, but I'm going to have to generate a lot of this content myself. Here is an artist's impression:



Step one: design the pattern that I am going to get someone to shave into my head :D
Step two: get ear pierced
Step three: work out a whole bunch
Step four: after appropriate period of time, replace studs with earring shown in artist's impression.
Step five: be awesome.

Except, I have to do this by january. And I am going to maintain it till I die. Which will not be for another five thousand years, at the hands of a spurned moon-prince who can't handle my many rejections, on account of the fact he is a moon-prince. Also a total asshole.

Also I need to be bilingual.

That is all.

- SR the mighty

Drawing 4: Rego Jone

Except I filed it in the wrong catagory. Rego on Amarillo from Rue :O