Good Lord

Reading back through some of these posts is a little bit embarrasing. I've already deleted two that were filled with flirty relationship angst and although I am tempted to delete the others that fall into the same category, I realise that this will leave the blog pretty much empty. I dunno, what do you guys think?

All 2 of you.

So gosh! It's been an absolute while, what's been going on? Well quite a few things as it turns out, and also a whole bunch of nothing.

I am still to finish the course that I started around about the same time that this blog went up, which is super shameful (I know), but that is definately going to be out of the way by the end of this year because it's now getting in the way of my next news nugget. (Unrelated but arg! This laptop keyboard is so small and its really annoying when you go to press backspace and instead you press insert and its like fuuu-). The course has progressed resonably well this year I feel, I am now up to the point where I am writing a seemingly endless array of essays and actually doing stuff that is related to the design of games. I still have to do some concept artwork for a pitch document but its cool. I mean I will have to start up my old computer (barry) and get him to work properly, as my new computer (gwen) doesn't seem to like either my tablet or any of the software that went with it in order to make it function. And for some reason I can't find a tablet that works on Windows 7 for less than 100£. (Comment section if you can help me out on this, amazon preferred over ebay).

I dunno about the end of this though. Lots of people from this course seem to be doing well in internships but I am super not confident in my abilities at all. I think my attitude will change when I actually make a game or something game related, but finding the time to mod just isn't happening right now, and the project to make the game it'self is prolly going to be a solo deal and will totally eat my life. It'll be fun though. Hopefully people will enjoy playing it too.

Right next news nugget. I want to move to London.

I've always wanted to live in some sort of city but London seems to be calling me loudest. I have family there so I am totally aware of all the pitfalls and the fact that it is not the friendliest or most sociable of places, but you know. It's something that I really feel I want to do. I can't move till I finish this course, but yeah. As soon as I do, I am London bound.

So yeah... the rest of my afternoon is going to be spent drawing, and deciding whether or not to get rid of a few posts. Also hi if you're still reading this.

It lives!

^ This post brought to you by vanity (and flat caps)

People have always told me, that you're supposed to have certain moments of clarity in your life, where you realise something so profound that everything changes as a result, and you can never go back to the way things were.

For the most part, I agreed with them. Twice I've felt this way, the first was realising that I am not as ugly as I was made to feel in High School (which lead to its own set of problems... but it was fun). The second was the first time I fell in love. By that I mean LOVE, love. The one that's so strong and all consuming that you have that uncomfortable moment where it dawns on you that every time you've expressed it before, you were wrong. Beyond that I didn't think that there was anything left to "discover". I'm not saying that I didn't/don't have issues, but I'm British, and we already realise that we're pretty much the best*.

I think I just had my third, uhm, thing. I dunno what you're supposed to call these yet.

Today I realised, that the reason that I seem to be making no progress at all, is because I am trying to go in too many directions, when really I can only go in one, maybe two at best (if they're both sort of going the same way). It was more of a slow clap than an avalanche this time around, and its still clapping so bear with me.

I cannot become a Jack-of-all-trades because then I will not be able to achieve everything that I want.

I cannot fall back on just being a pretty bit floating about some rich man's palace doing chores and telling the gardener where I want the chrysanthemums and how nice the jasmine would look draped across the gazebo.

I am probably never going to be famous. ... More than probably. Almost certainly.

I want, to be a games designer and make computer games. I want my own studio. I want to be successful, and to bring imagination and the open end back to the games industry. This is really and truly what I want, and its been a running theme through my entire life although I never really took that much notice of it.

I was always that child who made games for everyone to play. I was always at the centre of a group of people who wanted to join the worlds I was spinning, even though I had very few true friends, I was always welcome because I could make the dull interesting. All my life so far I have been inventing games.

And that's exactly what I want to do for the rest of it. I want to make things that people will enjoy playing, I want to make things that you can settle yourself into as deeply as you want, I want to create rich game worlds that you can sink into at the end of a long day. I want to make things that relieve stress, and calm even the more ornery of domestic beasts. I don't want to do this with guns and missiles and controversy. I want to do this the way that I've always done things. By listening, and talking, and creating something warm.

Although...

That's quite a mountain, and I'm still way out there on the plains. I'm glad to have realised finally what I really want out of life, but its a long way and a lot of work left to do, and I am coming close to the line for at least the first part of it. So its still a slow clap. Right in the awkward stage where there's still just one jock and his loser friend making all the noise and everything else is silence.

I'll let you decide out of everyone I know, who is the jock and who is the loser. Right now I need to open Gimp and get a few MT pages done!

- SR

*Sarcasm.

SR's magical transformation!

So I feel like having a permenant style change, but I'm going to have to generate a lot of this content myself. Here is an artist's impression:



Step one: design the pattern that I am going to get someone to shave into my head :D
Step two: get ear pierced
Step three: work out a whole bunch
Step four: after appropriate period of time, replace studs with earring shown in artist's impression.
Step five: be awesome.

Except, I have to do this by january. And I am going to maintain it till I die. Which will not be for another five thousand years, at the hands of a spurned moon-prince who can't handle my many rejections, on account of the fact he is a moon-prince. Also a total asshole.

Also I need to be bilingual.

That is all.

- SR the mighty

MoT Rambles: My Web Web

Right! I am collecting everything that is SR together and getting it all linked, with the view to one day, one far away magical day, getting it all on the same website. Oh the excitement. It is palpable. (tastes like chicken)

I need to sort of mug this blog and get it inline with the overall look of everything else. Anyway!

Todays My Thingie is yet another out of context wee small hours discussion that I drew in a manner to make it look like I have a social life. Don't you hate it when your ex gets more attractive? Except when its you, then its okay. Then its vengence. Anyway he wasn't complaining too hard ;)

Ahh I am trying to do some stuff today to sort out something for next week. Basically I am going to be doing some youtube stuff style my thingie videos (link is to the channel if you feel like subscribing early) . The first one will be up next week, and then I will try and get enough done to upload once a month from now until the end of the year. If I can get more done than that, then there will be more uploaded per week :D We shall see.

Ahh the exercising has gone up a notch, my friend Sunny and I are going to be topless at Leeds pride so we want to look lush, so we can honeytrap some free drinks and stuff. Though given that I can't workout my face and change my scary default expression the chances of people coming up to us are actually pretty slim. Ah well! At least we'll look great. I am also getting closer to my month-of-exercise days picture date. Hee! Trust me, it will be something nice to look at.

Hrrm this is a bit unco-ordinated. I need to remember how to smooth it all into one wonderful and entertaining post. Anyway! I have to wander off now and make provisions so that all my projects are linked together in one big thing. Tahtahfahnah - SR

I'm doing several things.

I have several things going on right now.

There are daily updates and linkage over here which should hopefully be entertaining, its entertaining me anyway so -shrug-

I am also found stalking the Tensess server of this game with regularity.

And I can always be found on this game on the Luxplena server around the weekends.

Also my guild's forum is doing stuff. (PM Essar if you register so the person I got adminning doesn't delete you. He has way too much free time and trigger happy finger)

And I am continuing to study.

And I am doing housework and cooking a lot, which is turning into quite a varied collection of recipies which I could post but then I'd have to work out the precise measures of all the ingredients, and usually I am like "just chuck it all in the pan and see what happens". Sa na. Oh and apparently at some point I became a counceller to my brother's friends. I am hoping they forget that I exist soon so I can go back to living peacefully.

Or at least free of prep high school drama.

eff eff ess!

Though I have totally neglected My Thingie and the other comics I used to draw, I will be making time for them soon when I can actually figure out where all the time in the day manages to dissapear off to. One moment I am playing pokemon whilst eating breakfast, and the next moment its eleven pm and I am talking to a gothic geordie boy on the telephone. This time lapse has got to stop.

Though at least I am feeling much better about things.

Ja ne!

- SRQ

OH HI!

So I fell off the face of the internet for a bit. Turns out I was somewhere in orbit though.

So I'm doing a thing, and I've stopped doing the other thingie, and this thingie is also kinda suffering BUT no more! I'm done with talking to myself outloud, so now you'll get the benefit. All three of you.

Oh, I found this:

This:

And this:


And I am a little bit addicted to all three. Also this: HYAR : is pretty interesting, don't you think?

So yeah I am back and stuff. Proper post later maybe :3