It lives!

^ This post brought to you by vanity (and flat caps)

People have always told me, that you're supposed to have certain moments of clarity in your life, where you realise something so profound that everything changes as a result, and you can never go back to the way things were.

For the most part, I agreed with them. Twice I've felt this way, the first was realising that I am not as ugly as I was made to feel in High School (which lead to its own set of problems... but it was fun). The second was the first time I fell in love. By that I mean LOVE, love. The one that's so strong and all consuming that you have that uncomfortable moment where it dawns on you that every time you've expressed it before, you were wrong. Beyond that I didn't think that there was anything left to "discover". I'm not saying that I didn't/don't have issues, but I'm British, and we already realise that we're pretty much the best*.

I think I just had my third, uhm, thing. I dunno what you're supposed to call these yet.

Today I realised, that the reason that I seem to be making no progress at all, is because I am trying to go in too many directions, when really I can only go in one, maybe two at best (if they're both sort of going the same way). It was more of a slow clap than an avalanche this time around, and its still clapping so bear with me.

I cannot become a Jack-of-all-trades because then I will not be able to achieve everything that I want.

I cannot fall back on just being a pretty bit floating about some rich man's palace doing chores and telling the gardener where I want the chrysanthemums and how nice the jasmine would look draped across the gazebo.

I am probably never going to be famous. ... More than probably. Almost certainly.

I want, to be a games designer and make computer games. I want my own studio. I want to be successful, and to bring imagination and the open end back to the games industry. This is really and truly what I want, and its been a running theme through my entire life although I never really took that much notice of it.

I was always that child who made games for everyone to play. I was always at the centre of a group of people who wanted to join the worlds I was spinning, even though I had very few true friends, I was always welcome because I could make the dull interesting. All my life so far I have been inventing games.

And that's exactly what I want to do for the rest of it. I want to make things that people will enjoy playing, I want to make things that you can settle yourself into as deeply as you want, I want to create rich game worlds that you can sink into at the end of a long day. I want to make things that relieve stress, and calm even the more ornery of domestic beasts. I don't want to do this with guns and missiles and controversy. I want to do this the way that I've always done things. By listening, and talking, and creating something warm.

Although...

That's quite a mountain, and I'm still way out there on the plains. I'm glad to have realised finally what I really want out of life, but its a long way and a lot of work left to do, and I am coming close to the line for at least the first part of it. So its still a slow clap. Right in the awkward stage where there's still just one jock and his loser friend making all the noise and everything else is silence.

I'll let you decide out of everyone I know, who is the jock and who is the loser. Right now I need to open Gimp and get a few MT pages done!

- SR

*Sarcasm.

DRAWINGS?!

Maaaaan... I am trying not to overface myself with work, but I just can't stop drawing characters related to Felicity Jone. These two beauties are Lord Erian Mox and the Regent of Rue, Cineraria Alium (Both written by two awesome women over at Rue). I really have to concentrate on getting the proportions for the bodies right, but I have faces pretty much like, down. Unless you want me to draw them from some other angle, in which case it will take me about eight hours.

Anyway. I want to try doing at least a page a week for this comic, and since I am lazy and really don't understand why my nice shiny new program isn't working, I am going to be drawing in MS Paint. Oh yes. I said it.

So stay tuned for more craptastic quality.

Trilingial Time:
- I should be doing other things.
- Que debería estar haciendo otras cosas.
- Watashi wa ta no koto o yatte iru hitsuyō ga arimasu (私は他の事をやっている必要があります)

- SR

Trilingual

Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee laaaaaaaaaaaanguages! It will happen. It will happen right here. Damn it. Okay so my spanish is rusty and my grasp of Japanese falls short of basic (though now when the subtitles aren't lined up properly I can ignore them and still understand the basic gist of what is going on, or who is talking about who) but I will start writing this more and doing it in different languages.

Or something.

Okay, trilingual party starter:
So after the breakup I had one initial crush almost immediately that fizzled out and now I have a whole lot of nothing. By the way I am totally running this through a translater. So theres this guy who is kind of cute and stuff and I -want- to like him like him but I just can't foster any feelings right now, I think I must still be going through the processes of the split or something. Aarrgh why can't he and the crush guy just call back in four years or something. Do Time Machines exist yet? I could do with one of those.

Oh and I have a job lined up for the end of the year, its all pretty exciting!

ES
Así que después de la ruptura que había un aplastamiento inicial casi inmediatamente que fracasó y ahora tengo un montón de nada. Por cierto estoy totalmente de ejecutar este a través de un traductor. Así que hay un tipo que es la clase de lindo y esas cosas y yo quiero lo que le gusta como él, pero yo simplemente no puede promover ningún sentimiento en este momento, creo que todavía debe estar pasando por los procesos de la división o algo así. ¿Por qué no puede él y el chico acaba de aplastar a devolver la llamada en cuatro años o algo así. No existe todavía máquinas del tiempo? Que podría hacer con uno de ellos.

Ah, y tengo un trabajo alineado para el final del año, su todo muy emocionante!

NH
Dakara watashi wa sugu ni sonouchi shissoku shi, ima wa nani mo ariamatte iru 1tsu no saisho no kurasshu shite ita gārufurendo to wakareta nochi. Watashi wa kanzen ni tsūyaku o kaishite kore o jikkō shite iru hōhō de. Desukara, ichi-shu no kawaii mono to watashi wa gatta kare no yōna kare o suki ni ndakedo, ima wa subete no kanjō o sodateru koto ga dekinai, watashi wa mada bunkatsu ka nani ka no purosesu o tsūka suru hitsuyō ga arimasu to omou nodesu kono otoko wadesu. Naze kare wa, tokimeki no otoko ga modotta bakari no 4-nenkan nani ka de yobidasu koto wa dekimasen. Dotaimumashin wa mada sonzai shite? Watashi wa ichi-nin to dekiru. Ā, watashi ga shigoto o kotoshi-matsu made ni, sono subete hijō ni ekisaitinguna narande iru!

Maybe it would help if I actually installed the japanese language pack on this computer.

SR's magical transformation!

So I feel like having a permenant style change, but I'm going to have to generate a lot of this content myself. Here is an artist's impression:



Step one: design the pattern that I am going to get someone to shave into my head :D
Step two: get ear pierced
Step three: work out a whole bunch
Step four: after appropriate period of time, replace studs with earring shown in artist's impression.
Step five: be awesome.

Except, I have to do this by january. And I am going to maintain it till I die. Which will not be for another five thousand years, at the hands of a spurned moon-prince who can't handle my many rejections, on account of the fact he is a moon-prince. Also a total asshole.

Also I need to be bilingual.

That is all.

- SR the mighty

Drawing 4: Rego Jone

Except I filed it in the wrong catagory. Rego on Amarillo from Rue :O

Drawing 3: Drawn with words.

Ahhh I don't think I'll be able to do one per hour after all. Hrrm I think I'll aim for 6 drawings today. I have too much stuff to do so I can't just sit here at the computer DX.

Drawing Day 2! Girlymanface

Ahaha! My cousin and I were talking about how the boys in our family all start out really femenine and then somehow turn into manly men when they hit their 20s. I'm still waiting, though I guess the metamorphasis must be starting because I can actually build muscle now.

Drawing for the hour of 9am, drawing day.

Drawing Day 1! Earth Elemental

For the hour of 8am, the first hourly drawing today :D

MoT Rambles: My Web Web

Right! I am collecting everything that is SR together and getting it all linked, with the view to one day, one far away magical day, getting it all on the same website. Oh the excitement. It is palpable. (tastes like chicken)

I need to sort of mug this blog and get it inline with the overall look of everything else. Anyway!

Todays My Thingie is yet another out of context wee small hours discussion that I drew in a manner to make it look like I have a social life. Don't you hate it when your ex gets more attractive? Except when its you, then its okay. Then its vengence. Anyway he wasn't complaining too hard ;)

Ahh I am trying to do some stuff today to sort out something for next week. Basically I am going to be doing some youtube stuff style my thingie videos (link is to the channel if you feel like subscribing early) . The first one will be up next week, and then I will try and get enough done to upload once a month from now until the end of the year. If I can get more done than that, then there will be more uploaded per week :D We shall see.

Ahh the exercising has gone up a notch, my friend Sunny and I are going to be topless at Leeds pride so we want to look lush, so we can honeytrap some free drinks and stuff. Though given that I can't workout my face and change my scary default expression the chances of people coming up to us are actually pretty slim. Ah well! At least we'll look great. I am also getting closer to my month-of-exercise days picture date. Hee! Trust me, it will be something nice to look at.

Hrrm this is a bit unco-ordinated. I need to remember how to smooth it all into one wonderful and entertaining post. Anyway! I have to wander off now and make provisions so that all my projects are linked together in one big thing. Tahtahfahnah - SR

Line in the Sand

Soooooo... where have I been? Man. I am not even sure. I always let my projects suffer everytime I go through some sort of emotional conflict, and its about time I grew out of that.

Blazes and I broke up, after lots of issues mainly revolving about the fact that he freaks out and acts like a dick sometimes. I can say that because even when I was trying to break into comics, he never read this blog even once. Meh. Maybe that should have been a sign? You know. The total lack of interest thing. Or something.

Anyway, despite the breakup I am not actually all that bitter, but all the stuff that happened before it is why everything stopped updating. It started with the comics, and then spread through everything and now... well Its not a problem anymore.

However, I can't just pick up where I left off with all of the things I was doing, because to be honest, I have a pretty crap methodology and the threads are much harder to trace than you would think given the final product. Anyway, heres my plan reguarding the the comics.

My Thingie: I tried to take this in too many directions when I should have just kept it as I intended it, just a cute little journal to capture the funny things that happen sometimes and maybe ask a few serious questions about stuff. I felt pressured to make it into more of a thing after a huge fight about money. My Thingie will go back to being cute stories that happen, three times a week. With maybe some topical content but nothing live action. I will be making lots of these in advance and posting them up.

Felicity Jone: I got really into the planning stages and was let down by my crash-prone image editor. I know they say a poor workman blames his tools, but even Michealangelo would have given up on David if his hammer and chisel kept deleting all his work every time his assistant popped up to see if he had any viruses. I want to tell the story as I have spent a lot of time on it, and will be working on pages using a new editor which is kinda laggy sometimes but thats probably just because I am doing too much on my computer. I do not know when I will be able to start uploading FJ comics, but it probably wont be on Drunk Duck.

Nuffink Doin: Another casualty of the money argument, but also I found it hard to draw and write about people who had lives when I was under pressure not to have one at all. So chah. I will redraw and revive Nuffink Doin and start posting comics up on Drunk Duck after I have revived My Thingie.

Other Stuff: I am part of the Manga Team for my gaming guild, we will be producing comics based on our characters from various games and posting them up online someplace. I will be the main penciller and organiser, but it wont distract me from my other comics.

Exercise is Really Boring: I will continue with my workout diary from day 1 attempt 2 starting soon. I really didn't feel like working out when we were arguing all the time, so I ate chocolate and cakes instead and now I am paying the unhealthy-out-of-breath price. Also we got a puppy. They like to try and eat you when you use a skipping rope or do pressups.

Contextualise Meh: My studies have been suffering but that will not continue! Contextualise Meh will be updated at a rate of one per day starting soon, and I will start sending off a bajillion and one emails to all of the people I feature in the blog, and informing you of any replies.

My Website: Nooooooooooooot gonna happen this year. At least not in this capacity.

And Elsewhere: I am persuing a few options for earning muhlah, and whilst prostitution isn't one of them, its something similar. I will be cagy about it until I know if I can do it or not, but yeah, expect youtube videos and stuff when I start that one.

If you're wondering how I will achieve all this... well I waste a loooot of time doing stupid stuff that just gets me depressed anyway, so this should distract me nicely. Luff and Stuff - Ree aka SR.

I'm doing several things.

I have several things going on right now.

There are daily updates and linkage over here which should hopefully be entertaining, its entertaining me anyway so -shrug-

I am also found stalking the Tensess server of this game with regularity.

And I can always be found on this game on the Luxplena server around the weekends.

Also my guild's forum is doing stuff. (PM Essar if you register so the person I got adminning doesn't delete you. He has way too much free time and trigger happy finger)

And I am continuing to study.

And I am doing housework and cooking a lot, which is turning into quite a varied collection of recipies which I could post but then I'd have to work out the precise measures of all the ingredients, and usually I am like "just chuck it all in the pan and see what happens". Sa na. Oh and apparently at some point I became a counceller to my brother's friends. I am hoping they forget that I exist soon so I can go back to living peacefully.

Or at least free of prep high school drama.

eff eff ess!

Though I have totally neglected My Thingie and the other comics I used to draw, I will be making time for them soon when I can actually figure out where all the time in the day manages to dissapear off to. One moment I am playing pokemon whilst eating breakfast, and the next moment its eleven pm and I am talking to a gothic geordie boy on the telephone. This time lapse has got to stop.

Though at least I am feeling much better about things.

Ja ne!

- SRQ

Ohhiso!

I got very distracted with life and stuff and had to call a haitus on MY THINGIE (I hate those) but its okay because I'm not going to be an illustrator anymore so I don't have to worry about making a name for myself doing that.

So yeah I kinda promised that I would keep people updated but I totally haven't and I don't know why I promised that given that I don't generally read these kinds of blogs. There's my I quota for today. You're welcome. Ahh man five minutes ago this was totally all happening but now that the computer is infront of me the words have all dissapated. Rubbish.

Btw Heather is still Bein a Wizzard. You should check it out.